Endless Worry

One of the biggest and most difficult hurdles being just some person on the internet where all your closest friends are also other people on the internet is how painful it is that when they're hurting most, you can't just be there.

It's kind of terrifying because while you know deep in your heart and soul that they will most assuredly be fine and come back after a hiatus of some sort, there's always a deeo seated fear that maybe they won't come back and potentially you will never ever get to know. Whether it's just losing access to their connections, or suddenly they can't afford a thing, or they just decide to unplug and actually just not come back.

Yeah, part of that is learning to let them go if it's better for them, but... I dunno. My funny little friends in my little box connected to this blight on humanity that we call the internet are all I have. All I can do is whimper like a dog waiting for their owner to come home and pile on all the stores affection I have if they do return. If they don't then... well I guess I just stay out where I'm at and hope for the best for them.

Now truth be told, I've only ever experienced someone never coming back like... once many many years ago, before I became a much better person in retrospect. But the fear will still grip me even if everything is completely out of my hands.

I guess ultimately I'm just a worrywart. I just want my friends to live good lives. Happy lives where they can be fulfilled, y'know? And the more I see my friends dragged though spikes and jagged rocks, the more I wish I could do for them, despite being powerless and often only able to give sweet words of comfort and a handful of emoji.